In Another's Shoes

As I mentioned I work as a therapist/substance abuse counselor at a jail. The women I work with have lead difficult lives. These women are addicts. These women have tough exteriors and are not afraid to use their skills, which include manipulating, intimidating, blaming, and lying, to avoid the negative consequences of their choices and behaviors.

As each woman discusses her resentments, she is angry and full of indignation, knowing that others hurt her, and therefore, she is somehow justified in her addictions and criminal behaviors. However, it is always amazing to me to see the change in these same women when the topic shifts to the impact of their behaviors on others.

I watched today as one woman, who uses sarcasm and humor especially well at disguising any real vulnerable emotion, dissolve into tears when she realized all the people she hurt through the course of her addiction, especially her siblings, nieces, and nephews. I was touched at her willingness to be objective, to put herself in another’s shoes, and to be empathetic.

Most of us do not enjoy thinking about, let alone admitting to others that we have injured another, especially if the injuries and/or pains were a result of our actions or behaviors, regardless of whether intentional, or not.

I am so grateful for a job that continually reminds me of things I sometimes take for granted, my relationships with people and how my actions and behaviors affect those people. I can only hope to make the changes necessary to improve my relationships with those who mean so much to me. I continue to make a conscious effort, hoping they will know my heart.